This blog will take about 4 minutes to read if you skim read, a little longer if you’re bedtime reading….
To enjoy it to it’s full potential, download one of the best tunes ever made for reading about people – Take That, The Greatest Day. I know you have doubts, but if you truly believe…..
Ready? Press play….
Yummy are growing & we’re looking for future stars, people to join our family & for us to look back in many years from now, older & greyer with pride. We’ve argued for a very long time that the aspiration of our industry should not be to find great GM’s, but to find great owners, the next generation to take our trade forwards, beyond sticky bars & branded glassware, beyond food, into the next phase of ‘pub’ be that what it may. Despite those clinging onto the past, ‘the pub’ is changing, but with one thing that will never alter, it’s for people, no more no less, a unique space for individuals to turn into groups, for groups to turn into friends, for friends to turn into history. In less that 6 months time, Matt (our Yummy Special one), will become an owner, in partnership with us, given a pub by us (part of a pub) with the knowledge that we’re there for every step of the adventure, but it’s his to build……drive………develop…………………………own.
We’re not ‘giving’ Matt a pub, we’re thanking him for turning into the owner he is today, from the 18 year old kid we inherited from buying a pub, he’s stuck with us, think & thin, from behind bars & running kitchens, to building chicken pens to racking ales & we’re truly proud of him (although we try not to have that conversation, ever – he gets embarrassed very easily, especially when we call him the special one).
But, it’s now time for us to find more special ones, 5 more in fact, its time for Yummy to have a growth spurt.
‘The Jamie’, as we fondly call him, is a role model for us, we love him. He does some great things & we’re ‘stealing with pride’ an idea of his from 10 years ago, but we’re turning it Yummy.
Fifteen was designed to prove that anyone could do fantastically well in our trade, given the right encouragement & support, no matter their past. So, 5+1+9 =15 is our creation, with a couple of differences – we’re not loaded, we’re not celebrities, we’re not on TV gold, ITV or BBC, we’re not good looking (well, with the exception of Anthony, he’s quite tasty from a distance), but we ARE going to train the chosen ones on everything, pub, not that we know everything of course, but we’ll train you on everything Yummy Pub which hasn’t done us so bad to date, plus we can learn & find new things together, which is always fun.
Modus Operandi Yummy (5+1+9=15).
Closing date for entries – New Year 00.01hrs, 01.01.2014
It’s a bit like the apprentice, but without all the annoying idiots who think they’re entrepreneurs (sorry mum, I know it’s a naughty word, but 96% of them are just pricks). It’s very similar to come dine with me, but without the £1000 prize & obscure entertainment, it’s compared to the X Factor, but you don’t need to know how to sing & Gary isn’t on the panel & it’s nothing like total wipe out USA, but we’re thinking about adding some magic balls to the process, big bouncy red ones, maybe without the swimming pool underneath?
If you’re indeed a chosen one, you’ll join us in one of our current amazing pubs, after all, what better place to start your Yummy adventure? From then on in we could put you anywhere; kitchen, front of house, Kent, Surrey, Tooting, Euston, somewhere new, over a period of 24 months…well kept, in a lovely spacious room without bunk beds, but anywhere….UK, for now.
In that time you’ll be enrolled onto the Yummy Academy; our online training, self-learning & development course to begin learning the 7 stages of Yummy.
But, & there is always a but, the most exciting bit is you’ll be given either Jason, Anthony, Tim or Matt as your personal mentor – we’ll draw straws so it’s not a difficult situation for everyone, we know there is a huge demand for Tim, but there is only so much that can go around (especially as he is now a member of a local health club, at a very reasonable rate).
…music has probably stopped now so just concentrate….
As well as your dedicated mentor you‘ll be taught everything from how to design a menu the Yummy way to running a P&L account on a 3-5 year forecast for a pub you don’t even own to peeling spuds for a Sunday lunch. If that’s not incentive enough you’ll be given the opportunity to work with some of the best talent in our industry with our current GM’s on their way to owning their own pubs, hand picked, sculpted & developed by us, they are quite simply – exceptional.
At the end of the 24 months training we’ll put you onto a fast track ((GM = owner scheme)) where you’ll work towards owning your own site, with us, quickly.
So, who are we looking for?
If you’re chirpy, well educated in the education of life or school, hard working, youthful in looks or spirit, entertaining, curious, imaginative, you’ll fit the bill. If you’re boring, grumpy, lazy & a little bit of a moaner, you need not apply.
This position is open to anyone. You maybe a pot wash currently, a GM for another company, just graduated or searching for something that just feels right. To stand out from the crowd you need to make us smile, we’re quite simple individuals, might just be a joke or a nice picture, we like pictures. We’ll leave the finer details of the application to you, if you feel we need to see your CV, attach one, a covering letter is always good & what makes you tick, that’s what makes you individual, that’s what makes you Yummy.
In the first week of January 2014 we‘ll examine every applicant in detail. You can send us your details by email or pigeon, whichever works for you. If via pigeon please send to Yummy Operations, The Yummy Bunker, The Somers Town Coffee House, 60 Chalton Street, London, NW1 1HS for the attention of Tim, Yummy Kingpin. If via email please send to email@example.com .
So, to map it out;
Stage 1: Applications in by 00.01hrs 01.01.2014 no late applications will be accepted, there will be no extension of deadlines.
Stage 2: On 07.01.2014 we will contact the short list of applicants for a face 2 face meeting with us to discuss all things you.
Stage 3: On 14.01.2014 we’ll contact the successful ‘Special Ones’ to work through a notice period of the current employment for an appropriate start date, venue & position within Yummy.
Stage 4: You will become Yummy.
Stage 5: You will become a GM in Yummy.
Stage 6: You will become an owner in Yummy.
Stage 7: We (not royal, just us) will get old & grey, quicker than expected, despite the best efforts of just for men.
If you think this is some kind of hoax, read up on us, we’re anything but conventional both in pub & in practice.
We look forward to hearing from you, the time is now, the time IS Yummy.
Its always nice to finish these kind of things with a picture so here’s a picture of Pickle eating oranges, she likes oranges.